1 00:00:02,010 --> 00:00:05,630 Previously on L .A. Law. A judge getting divorced isn't all that different from 2 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:06,690 anyone else getting divorced. 3 00:00:07,390 --> 00:00:10,530 The authority of your office doesn't insulate you from the pain of a failed 4 00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:13,570 marriage. You are going through a very real event. 5 00:00:14,270 --> 00:00:16,329 You know that guy Jerry I'm dating? 6 00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:18,130 Well, he's got a friend, David Meyer. 7 00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:20,290 Thought it'd be fun for the four of us to go out. 8 00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:21,589 What's he like? 9 00:00:21,590 --> 00:00:22,950 He's single. He's loaded. 10 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,290 He has a pulse. 11 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,710 Are you flirting with the client, Mr. Becker? 12 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,070 No, Your Honor. 13 00:00:28,470 --> 00:00:29,610 Because I'm a judge? 14 00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:31,070 Because... 15 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:36,660 I wouldn't want to lose your respect and I hope your friendship by being a jerk. 16 00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:41,820 I'm paying this direct marketing firm to give me those who have gone from less 17 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:47,160 populous areas to more populous areas because maybe, just maybe, that means 18 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,860 square footage to less square footage. Tell me, what product do I sell them? 19 00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:56,520 I have no idea, David. Pre -fabricated storage facilities. 20 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,080 But if you think you can handle more... 21 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:03,620 If you're not afraid of a real relationship, you know where to find me. 22 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,120 Hi. 23 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:13,400 So if we get started, I'm not sure where it's going to lead. 24 00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:14,980 Me neither. 25 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,700 You didn't tell them that it was my birthday, did you? 26 00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:31,490 No. Oh, good. I hate it when they bring that little cake with the candle on it. 27 00:01:31,730 --> 00:01:33,430 I think it's nice. Birthdays are fun. 28 00:01:34,650 --> 00:01:35,790 I've always dreaded birthdays. 29 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,950 It reminded me I'm another year older and still alone. 30 00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:41,270 You're not alone now. 31 00:01:42,290 --> 00:01:43,790 Happy birthday, Mr. Becker. 32 00:01:45,390 --> 00:01:47,730 Happy doesn't begin to describe the way you make me feel. 33 00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,650 And for the first time in my life, I feel like I really have something to 34 00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:51,650 celebrate. 35 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:57,090 These last few weeks together, I never knew that it could be like this. 36 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,020 Will you look at me? 37 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:00,840 Will you make me feel? 38 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,460 How do I make you feel? 39 00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:04,380 Naked. 40 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:07,160 Like everybody in the room can see me. 41 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,539 Well, try to keep your collar on. 42 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,240 At least till we get home. 43 00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:33,830 Why don't you stay here and take off your clothes? 44 00:02:34,390 --> 00:02:35,890 I need a minute to get ready. 45 00:02:36,130 --> 00:02:37,470 Sounds exciting. 46 00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:41,970 It will be. 47 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:43,610 I promise. 48 00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:31,870 Ready? 49 00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:34,650 It's your birthday, Counselor. Turn on the light. 50 00:03:35,070 --> 00:03:37,130 I want to see you in your birthday suit. 51 00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:39,630 Surprise! 52 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:44,950 You got me. 53 00:05:00,390 --> 00:05:01,390 No. 54 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:48,280 Oh, Rox, I finally got your tax return. We're going to have to sit down, okay? 55 00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:49,460 Is it okay? 56 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:50,700 Well, we'll talk. 57 00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:52,400 Why don't you catch me right after the staff meeting? 58 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,720 People, before we get started, I'd like to say to all of you who participated in 59 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:07,520 my surprise party last night, from the heart of my bottom... 60 00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:13,150 Thank you. It was one of the most memorable birthdays I've ever had, and I 61 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:15,610 long remember it. Well, we will remember it long, too. 62 00:06:17,070 --> 00:06:18,590 And I'm going to get you for this. 63 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:23,770 Pressing forward, Miss Kelsey, what is Julius Goldfarb, a .k .a. 64 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:28,850 Salamander, versus Harris Productions, Inc.? Julius is an actor who played the 65 00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:33,770 comic book character Salamander in the short -lived 1981 TV series of the same 66 00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:37,730 name. Is this the guy who slithers up walls and lashes at villains with his 67 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,469 -like tongue? 68 00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:39,470 The very one. 69 00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:40,670 Anyway, Mr. 70 00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:44,870 Goldfarb has been eking out a modest living, making promotional appearances 71 00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:49,050 schools, supermarkets, shopping malls in his salamander suit. 72 00:06:49,630 --> 00:06:53,630 Harris Productions is attempting to enjoin him from any further use of the 73 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,750 or likeness of the character because they're going to do a remake of the TV 74 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,130 series and they want to cast a different actor. Need I ask why we are 75 00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:02,170 representing this reptile? 76 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,510 Apparently he's Ralph Mishkin's nephew. 77 00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:06,290 What can I say? 78 00:07:06,770 --> 00:07:07,770 Say no more. 79 00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:10,270 Victor, welcome back from Worcester, Matt. 80 00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:14,210 Thanks. Where do we stand with the Byron DeBeck will contest? 81 00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:16,410 Hey, getting kind of hairy, Doug. 82 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:21,310 One of the twins, Holly, now says that she left home because DeBeck's fatherly 83 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,110 love for them had suddenly taken a turn towards the incestuous. 84 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,010 What's that got to do with Tina Benici? 85 00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:29,910 Well, Holly says, and the other twin doesn't deny it, that this is all Tina's 86 00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:34,680 idea. that as the old man's dominatrix, she got him hooked on cocaine, and she 87 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:39,000 was planning to videotape them all at a family orgy. Well, a family that plays 88 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,060 together stays together. 89 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:43,200 Honestly, this is the sickest thing I've ever heard. 90 00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:44,920 Yeah, it's not a pretty picture. 91 00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,420 So, what's next, Victor? 92 00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:49,760 Well, I'm going to be here until Wednesday, and then I'm going to fly 93 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,120 Cabo San Lucas to meet with a man by the name of Carlos Ramon Garza. 94 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:57,000 who owns the fishing boat that the twins spent three weeks on with the mystery 95 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,420 lover boy from the Reagan administration. 96 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,720 Keep us posted. I will, Doug. I will. Oh, speaking of orgy, I am sorry that I 97 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,060 missed your birthday party, Arnie. I hear it was lots of fun. 98 00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:07,660 It had its high points. 99 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,600 Lastly, Stuart. 100 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,280 My phone keeps ringing off the hook from irate clients upset about their tax 101 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:18,020 returns. What is going on? Well, it's a nightmare, Douglas. 102 00:08:18,590 --> 00:08:22,430 See, the revised 1040s are even more complicated this year than last, and the 103 00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:24,550 all -new 8000 series is just impossible. 104 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:29,410 Then there's the Omnibus Reconciliation Act of 1987, which is designed to close 105 00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:33,630 all the loopholes of the Tax Reform Act of 1986, except Congress hasn't bothered 106 00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:37,450 to pass all the key parts yet. The net result of which being is I filed a 107 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:41,530 number of extensions, accounting fees are up 25 to 35 percent, and my clients 108 00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:44,370 don't know whether to poop green or jump off a building. That's what's going on. 109 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,010 Any more smart questions? 110 00:08:46,450 --> 00:08:47,450 Well... 111 00:08:47,950 --> 00:08:50,590 On that sour note, I think we're adjourned. 112 00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:52,570 Abby, do you want to go? 113 00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:54,150 Sure. 114 00:08:56,330 --> 00:08:57,790 Estoppel. Now, what's the thing? 115 00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:02,090 Estoppel? It means it may be too late for the producers to stop you. 116 00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:05,490 They knew six years ago that you were going to shopping malls dressed as a 117 00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:06,750 salamander. They never said anything. 118 00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:09,950 They didn't authorize it either. Doesn't matter. You relied on their 119 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,190 acquiescence. I think we're going to win. 120 00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:15,990 I can't thank you enough, Ms. Kelsey, for... 121 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,820 Taking over the case with the last second like this, you've given me some 122 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:24,260 hope. Hey, I'm a lawyer, you're a reptile. Consider this a professional 123 00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:25,260 courtesy. 124 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:31,340 You know, lots of people think I'm loony to do this. 125 00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:35,580 But being the salamander, it gives me pleasure. 126 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,100 And it seems to bring pleasure to a lot of other people, especially the 127 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,100 children. 128 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,020 I don't know too many jobs that can do that. 129 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,540 Neither do I. 130 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,460 Ten o 'clock tomorrow morning, in court, wear a tie. 131 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:52,100 I'll be there. 132 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,280 And thanks again. 133 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:54,740 Mr. 134 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:56,320 Goldfarb? Yes. 135 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,780 I have a big fan of yours here who'd like to meet you. 136 00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,020 Certainly. And you are? 137 00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:02,640 Benny Stolwitz. 138 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,620 Very nice to meet you, Benny. 139 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,700 I see you on TV. 140 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,380 I like when you climb those walls. 141 00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:15,640 Would you like me to show you? 142 00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:17,220 How I do that? 143 00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:19,940 Yeah. 144 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,660 Can we go somewhere private? 145 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,300 Because we can't let everybody else see. Would that be all right? 146 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,880 Sure. Well, we can go to the file room. 147 00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:32,740 Onward, ho. 148 00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:36,460 I'm going to the file room with the salamander. 149 00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:46,550 Yep. 150 00:10:47,870 --> 00:10:50,890 I feel like I'm waiting for test results back from the doctor. 151 00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:52,450 You've got a tax problem. 152 00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:53,670 A big one. 153 00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:55,290 How big? 154 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:59,590 Well, you're the IRS 11 ,000 insane. 155 00:10:59,930 --> 00:11:03,210 What? And an additional $3 ,500 to the state. 156 00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:04,890 That's impossible. 157 00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:08,470 No, no, it's not. It's based on an annual income of $91 ,000. 158 00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:15,720 $91 ,000? Yeah, well, that's inclusive of your profits from your little 159 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,040 adventure in insider trading. 160 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:21,620 I gave it back. Rox, giving it back was the criminal penalty. The IRS still 161 00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:22,700 counts it as taxable income. 162 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,320 I'm broke. 163 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,420 I have no assets. 164 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:37,900 I owe over $4 ,500 on my credit card. 165 00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:39,280 Can your family help? 166 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,200 I can't ask them. 167 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,660 Besides, they don't have it to give. 168 00:11:43,980 --> 00:11:46,460 Then your only other realistic option is a wage earner plan. 169 00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:48,060 What's that mean? 170 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,580 It's a form of bankruptcy. 171 00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:51,780 Bankruptcy? Yep. 172 00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,900 Absolutely not. No. Wait a minute. 173 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,380 I am not a failure. 174 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,460 Rox, nobody said you were a failure. 175 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,720 That's what it means. 176 00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:05,370 No. No, no. What it means is you agree to consolidate your debts, you agree to 177 00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:08,330 pay back your creditors over a three -year period, a certain amount on the 178 00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:09,770 dollar. A lot of people do it. 179 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:14,150 I am not filing bankruptcy, Stuart. That's final. 180 00:12:14,970 --> 00:12:15,970 Then what are you going to do? 181 00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:17,950 I'll get the money. 182 00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:19,150 How? 183 00:12:19,450 --> 00:12:20,570 I'm not sure yet. 184 00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,970 Get it quick. They're not going to wait a long time. 185 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,620 Rent 690, utilities 185. 186 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,740 Your fixed expenses are almost 900 a month right there. 187 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,960 You'd be looking at a payment of nearly 500 a month. And unless you plan on not 188 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,680 eating for the next five years, I don't see how you can take on that obligation 189 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:49,680 on your salary. 190 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,260 What if I went with a 10 -year term? 191 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:55,800 Wouldn't that lower the payment? We can't give 10 years on unsecured loans. 192 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:56,920 Government regulations. 193 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,640 I don't believe this. 194 00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:01,340 I've been coming here for 11 years. 195 00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:05,010 I finance cars here. I've never missed a payment. 196 00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:08,610 I've never bounced a check. And you're a valued customer, believe me. 197 00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:11,870 Look, if there was someone who could co -sign the note as a means of 198 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:14,730 guaranteeing the loan. What you're saying is I should bring in someone you 199 00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:18,090 trust because you can't trust me. You know if it were up to me, I'd give you 200 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:19,370 loan. Who the hell is it up to? 201 00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:23,510 The little man who writes the jingle saying you're always here when you need 202 00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:26,830 You know these things work on collateral, and you have... You guys are 203 00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:31,510 something. You didn't need collateral to collect the 18 % interest on my credit 204 00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,090 card accounts for the last 10 years. 205 00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,110 I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. 206 00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,650 How about telling me you'll help me? 207 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,550 How about telling me you'll go to bat for a long -term customer with some 208 00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:41,550 -term money problems? 209 00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:45,790 My hands are tied, unless you get a co -signer or the situation changes. 210 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,730 If the situation changes, I won't need the money, will I? 211 00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:58,510 Arnold tells me you and Sheila have reached a friendly separation agreement. 212 00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:02,970 I can't tell you the enormous unburdening I feel, which is not to say 213 00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:07,190 part of me isn't mourning the loss of the marriage, but all that tension and 214 00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:09,910 animosity was crippling my work, my relationships. 215 00:14:10,570 --> 00:14:14,830 I really feel this is a new beginning. The four of us spent the weekend at 216 00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:17,030 Esalen. Rusty, me, Sheila, Gordon. 217 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:21,410 They had a seminar in the extended family, breaking the bondage of sexual 218 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:22,930 jealousy. Sounds great. 219 00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,250 Help me. 220 00:14:27,579 --> 00:14:28,720 Benny. I'm stuck. 221 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,740 Sir Salamander didn't show me how to get down. 222 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,720 How long have you been up there? 223 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:35,960 Couple hours. 224 00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,580 I didn't want to bother anybody. 225 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,040 Well, that's silly, Benny. 226 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:43,080 You can call us any time you get stuck to a wall. 227 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,640 Well, you can. Come on. Let's see if you can get him down. 228 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:51,900 And the evidence will further show that all rights pertaining to this fictitious 229 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,700 character reside with my client. 230 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:59,040 The defendant has no right to personify this creature, and his running around in 231 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,500 that costume is ruining the producer's chance of successfully launching the 232 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:06,020 remake of the TV series, which series is entirely based upon this crime 233 00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:06,999 -fighting hero. 234 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,040 The harm is imminent. 235 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,780 The harm is irreparable. 236 00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:11,540 Thank you. 237 00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:19,540 Julius Goldfarb has been making public appearances as the salamander ever since 238 00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:21,320 the original television show was canceled. 239 00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:23,360 It has been his livelihood, Your Honor. 240 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,180 We will show that the plaintiff not only knew of these appearances, but quietly 241 00:15:27,180 --> 00:15:31,000 encouraged them, because the exposure generated by this man helped promote 242 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000 comic book sales. 243 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:37,220 Now, six years later, they plan to do a remake of the TV show with a new, 244 00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:41,340 younger actor as the salamander, and they want to shut Julius Goldfarb down. 245 00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:45,300 But the principal of Estoppel says they can't do this, Your Honor. 246 00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:49,770 They knew of the appearances. They sat back while he built an entire career 247 00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:53,210 around this creature, and it's too late for them now to say stop. 248 00:15:54,150 --> 00:16:00,530 Your Honor, this man has traveled the country ten times over personifying that 249 00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:02,550 character and the virtues he bestows. 250 00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:08,450 The evidence will show that Julius Goldfarb is the salamander. The evidence 251 00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,750 show that Julius Goldfarb will forever be the salamander. 252 00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:14,050 No court could ever change that. 253 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,980 No court should ever try. 254 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,160 Thank you. 255 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:26,240 I know it sounds harmless. A guy running around in leotards and a tail, who can 256 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,240 it hurt? 257 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:30,580 But the fact is, he is hurting us. 258 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:35,100 How so? Well, most of the publicity focuses on his recent eccentricity, his 259 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:38,220 gratuitous climbing. 260 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,140 We feel it is compromising the integrity of the character. 261 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:46,620 A character we've invested millions of dollars in. And you really think his 262 00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,980 activities can hurt your upcoming television series? 263 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,099 Oh, definitely. 264 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:53,480 I mean, we're hoping people will tune in to see a modern -day superhero. 265 00:16:54,820 --> 00:17:00,400 Who's going to watch with people thinking, oh, it's that wimpy little 266 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,400 saw at the supermarket? 267 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,020 Objection. Sustained. 268 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:04,380 I have nothing further. 269 00:17:09,139 --> 00:17:12,579 You've known all along that he was personifying this creature, haven't you? 270 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:15,760 Oh, we've been mildly aware of it, but... Mildly aware. 271 00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:20,359 Didn't you state in an inter -office memo that Mr. Goldfarb's efforts helped 272 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,060 sustain interest in your comic book? 273 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:23,520 I did say that, yes. 274 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,640 And isn't it true that one of the reasons you've considered doing the 275 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,260 the TV show is the ongoing success of the comic book? 276 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:33,090 Yes, but... Well, don't you think it's a little unfair for you to be here now 277 00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:36,490 trying to squash the guy that helped you spin your hay into gold? 278 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,670 Objection. Overall, you may answer. 279 00:17:38,990 --> 00:17:40,930 Look, this is excruciating for me. 280 00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:48,410 I think the world of Julia's, but, well, this is business, is crazy antics that 281 00:17:48,410 --> 00:17:49,550 made our character a joke. 282 00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,070 Didn't you say it's your deposition? 283 00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:56,960 that Julius Goldfarb is the greatest amphibian in the history of Hollywood. 284 00:17:57,260 --> 00:18:02,400 And I meant it, but... And at your deposition, Mr. Bates, you also said 285 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,920 whenever you see Julius Goldfarb, you see one thing. 286 00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:09,000 Tell the court what is that one thing, Mr. Bates. 287 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:11,760 The salamander. 288 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,520 I see the salamander. 289 00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:17,500 No further questions. 290 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:20,539 You're on. 291 00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:23,160 This is the third war that Mr. Simonetti has dismissed. 292 00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:27,200 The custody of these three children is an issue that needs to be resolved. 293 00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:28,860 So let's resolve it now, Your Honor. 294 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,100 I'll represent myself, Pro Se. 295 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,680 You understand that you're entitled to a continuance in order to obtain new 296 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,900 counsel. I'll waive it. 297 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,420 The defendant is ready. 298 00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:39,440 Your Honor, you've heard the testimony of witnesses. 299 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,020 You've heard from the parties themselves. 300 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,640 I don't think there's any question but that the most stable and nurturing 301 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,780 environment can be provided by these children's mother. You know my kids, 302 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:51,360 Slick? Mr. Simonetti, you may be representing yourself in these 303 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,260 you will conduct yourself in the appropriate manner. 304 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:56,930 And that means showing this court the courtesy of addressing your remarks to 305 00:18:56,930 --> 00:19:00,370 bench. Excuse me, Your Honor, I just don't see what's so stable about moving 306 00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:04,130 children 1 ,500 miles from home. My client has her whole family in Chicago. 307 00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:07,870 Who my children don't even know. Thanks to you. Mrs. Simonetti. Your Honor, I 308 00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:11,510 respectfully remind the court that my client instituted this action only after 309 00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:15,290 Mr. Simonetti had made her life a living hell for years. You know because you 310 00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:19,830 were there, right? Mr. Simonetti. Your Honor, I didn't want this divorce. 311 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:23,290 She dumped me. It's always about you, isn't it, Dominic? 312 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:24,940 What about me? 313 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,920 Huh? What about when you would stay out for two or three days at a time and not 314 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,060 call? What about the drinking? What about the card games that were still 315 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,300 on when the kids were leaving for school? What about I'm a cop? 316 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,860 You understood what that meant. You're married to a cop. 317 00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:40,780 Not anymore, I'm not. The fact is, Your Honor, that these two people have ceased 318 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,580 being married in all but the technical sense for quite some time. What's that 319 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:47,280 mean, Judge? That sounds like lawyer talk. It means, in addition to isolating 320 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,980 himself emotionally, Mr. Simonetti has been unable to physically have marital 321 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,760 relations with his wife in over a year. 322 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:54,780 She tell you that? Mr. 323 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:58,100 Simonetti. Did you tell him that about me? Yes, I told him that. I told him 324 00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:01,120 everything. Why didn't you just put a bullet in me? You know where I kept the 325 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:02,860 guns. Will the court please instruct Mr. 326 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,660 Simonetti to dispense with histrionics? You keep talking, you punk bastard. I 327 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,920 don't forget anything. That's enough. You're not scaring me, pal. 328 00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:13,020 This isn't some back alley roust. Mr. Simonetti, you either control yourself 329 00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:15,260 I'm going to throw you out on your ear. Mr. Lustig. 330 00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:17,510 The record will reflect that you are not afraid. 331 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:21,690 Now, can we all manage to conduct ourselves as if this is a court of law 332 00:20:21,690 --> 00:20:23,730 a street fight? This is no street fight, Judge. 333 00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:26,870 Out on the street, they come at you with a knife or they come at you with a gun. 334 00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:28,310 You watch your back and you got a chance. 335 00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:31,230 In here, they take your secrets. 336 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:34,630 The times in the middle of the night when you cried like a little boy because 337 00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:37,070 you were scared of dying, when you felt worthless and weak. 338 00:20:37,790 --> 00:20:40,530 See, they feed it all to their lawyers, and then they announce it to the world, 339 00:20:40,550 --> 00:20:42,170 and suddenly you're standing there naked and alone. 340 00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:47,590 What do you think it took to get me to do that, Dominic? How many cop dinners 341 00:20:47,590 --> 00:20:50,670 did I have to go home alone from because you had picked a fight with everyone 342 00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:52,250 there and ended up leaving without me? 343 00:20:52,910 --> 00:20:56,550 How many times did I have to watch you rip apart the house looking for the 344 00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,750 microphones that you thought Internal Affairs had planted there? 345 00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:04,760 I mean, how long? am I supposed to go on believing that my husband Dominic is 346 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,280 the one righteous, deserving man wronged by the city, by the department, by the 347 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,640 game players intent on denying him what he is entitled to? 348 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:18,400 How long am I supposed to be consumed by that the way you are? 349 00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,640 Till death do us part, baby. 350 00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:23,340 Till death do us part. 351 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:30,130 I thought that you handled them very well. I never know how far to let it go. 352 00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:33,750 Well, it's better to let them scream at each other in the courtroom than duke it 353 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:34,750 out in the hallway. 354 00:21:34,890 --> 00:21:39,070 I'll tell you this. If I had to spend my entire career adjudicating divorces, 355 00:21:39,150 --> 00:21:40,150 I'd quit the bench. 356 00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:41,470 You get used to it. 357 00:21:41,630 --> 00:21:44,210 I don't want to get used to it. I want to get away from it. 358 00:21:44,530 --> 00:21:45,610 Funny you should mention that. 359 00:21:45,910 --> 00:21:47,330 You know, I was going to suggest the following. 360 00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:49,890 Give them your ruling 10 o 'clock Friday morning. 361 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:53,830 10 .30 Friday morning, we hop in the car, zoom up the coast to Big Sur. 362 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,080 And we lock ourselves in a room at Ventana's for three days. 363 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,040 With a dozen of my closest friends hiding in the bathroom. 364 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaking of which, I gotta know. 365 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,760 Did Cusack put you up to it? 366 00:22:04,060 --> 00:22:06,640 He was so persuasive. He's very charming. 367 00:22:07,020 --> 00:22:09,520 He said you did stuff like that back and forth all the time. 368 00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:12,480 Plus, he made me feel like I was part of your inner circle. 369 00:22:12,780 --> 00:22:13,780 I was flattered. 370 00:22:15,020 --> 00:22:17,940 Tell me the truth. Are you mad at me for exposing you to your colleagues? 371 00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,620 Joanna, when I'm with you, I've got nothing to hide. 372 00:22:22,650 --> 00:22:25,290 If you're not careful, Mr. Becker, I may fall in love with you. 373 00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:26,930 What do you mean? You haven't yet? 374 00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:30,210 Let's just say I've taken the motion under advisement. 375 00:22:41,850 --> 00:22:45,330 Arnie? Oh, Rox, where's the verification on the Copeland complaint? 376 00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:47,250 It's by the credendum. 377 00:22:47,930 --> 00:22:50,590 Arnie, I need to ask you something. 378 00:22:50,930 --> 00:22:51,930 I'm listening. 379 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:59,540 I feel terrible asking you this, and I'll understand if you can't, but would 380 00:22:59,540 --> 00:23:01,640 be willing to co -sign a note for me on a loan? 381 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:02,960 You're buying a car? 382 00:23:03,180 --> 00:23:10,080 No, I owe the IRS $14 ,000 on the money I made from 383 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,080 Jimmy's stock tips. 384 00:23:11,340 --> 00:23:12,340 Oh, boy. 385 00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:14,820 What about the credit union? 386 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,060 I tried. 387 00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:20,540 Rox, it's really not a great time for me right now. I am right on the edge as it 388 00:23:20,540 --> 00:23:22,600 is, and my lease option's up at the end of the month. 389 00:23:23,620 --> 00:23:24,820 I'd make all the payments. 390 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,120 That's not the problem. The problem is I'm negotiating a huge mortgage with the 391 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,820 bank, and another encumbrance is just going to blow me right out of the water. 392 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,960 Do you want me to talk to Brackman? Maybe the firm can loan you the money. 393 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,720 Ernie, Douglas Brackman wanted to fire me. 394 00:23:40,140 --> 00:23:42,420 He's not going to loan me $14 ,000. 395 00:23:43,180 --> 00:23:46,680 Roxanne, I have given you two raises over the last ten months. What are you 396 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:47,680 doing with your money? 397 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:49,640 Trying to pay my taxes. 398 00:23:50,170 --> 00:23:53,790 It's not just taxes. You're talking about a litany of debts here, Roxanne, 399 00:23:53,790 --> 00:23:54,790 being overextended. 400 00:23:55,010 --> 00:23:56,810 This is an old song that you're singing. 401 00:23:57,050 --> 00:24:01,370 You're barely making it on a six -figure income. You try living on what I make. 402 00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:04,370 I'm not saying it's a fortune, Roxanne, but you're a single woman with no 403 00:24:04,370 --> 00:24:08,350 dependents, making more money than most families make. Don't talk to me like a 404 00:24:08,350 --> 00:24:10,450 little girl who spent her allowance on candy. 405 00:24:10,810 --> 00:24:13,670 Roxanne, that is exactly what you did, and you're blaming everybody else for it 406 00:24:13,670 --> 00:24:14,329 but yourself. 407 00:24:14,330 --> 00:24:17,650 You have got a hell of a nerve lecturing me the way you throw your money around. 408 00:24:17,730 --> 00:24:21,100 I'm not lecturing you. Look, look, look. I'll solve my problems by myself, okay? 409 00:24:21,340 --> 00:24:22,560 Roxanne. Forget it, Ernie. 410 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,480 Busy? 411 00:24:49,450 --> 00:24:50,450 I can come back. 412 00:24:50,530 --> 00:24:52,210 No, no, no. Come on in. Come on in. 413 00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:02,110 I want to ask you about bankruptcy. 414 00:25:02,970 --> 00:25:03,970 Okay, what about it? 415 00:25:04,550 --> 00:25:05,550 What happened? 416 00:25:05,730 --> 00:25:09,590 Well, you go before a public trustee with a list of your assets and your 417 00:25:09,590 --> 00:25:10,890 creditors and your projected income. 418 00:25:11,570 --> 00:25:15,110 Basically, you're seeking the protection of the court in exchange for which you 419 00:25:15,110 --> 00:25:17,890 agree to abide by a budget and a schedule of repayment. 420 00:25:19,660 --> 00:25:21,880 Will they make me sell off my jewelry? 421 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,080 Things my mother gave me? 422 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,800 Under Chapter 13, you can't lay a glove on it. 423 00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:28,460 All you gotta do is keep up your payments. 424 00:25:29,260 --> 00:25:30,540 How long would it last? 425 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:32,360 Three years. 426 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:34,300 Then what? 427 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,940 Then you start fresh, clean slate. 428 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:38,440 Great. 429 00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:42,600 I'll be 41 years old. 430 00:25:43,980 --> 00:25:47,180 And I won't even have 15 cents to my name. 431 00:25:47,820 --> 00:25:48,820 Look. 432 00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:51,250 I'm not going to tell you. It won't be tough. 433 00:25:52,290 --> 00:25:53,890 A lot of people go through this. 434 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:58,090 A lot of very responsible, very decent, hard -working people. 435 00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:00,910 I'm so humiliated. 436 00:26:02,670 --> 00:26:03,670 It's going to be okay. 437 00:26:04,490 --> 00:26:06,210 Hey, I said it's going to be okay. 438 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,240 before I break your leg. 439 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:24,660 I said release her. 440 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,020 Now. Hey, Ricky. 441 00:26:31,820 --> 00:26:33,360 Oh, no, it's the salamander. 442 00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:40,940 Okay, 443 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,880 you can have her. Come on, Ricky. 444 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,760 Salamander, you saved me. 445 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,640 How can I ever thank you? 446 00:26:51,050 --> 00:26:52,050 Wait right here. 447 00:26:52,190 --> 00:26:53,750 I have to go capture them. 448 00:26:54,330 --> 00:26:57,470 Through honesty and justice, virtue shall grow. 449 00:26:58,790 --> 00:27:00,010 Salamander, Salamander. 450 00:27:00,610 --> 00:27:01,610 Onward, ho! 451 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:07,710 Now, Mr. 452 00:27:07,750 --> 00:27:12,250 Goldfarb, this is the character that you've continued to play for the last 453 00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:13,250 years, correct? 454 00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:17,790 I appear about a half a dozen times a month in shopping malls, arcades, 455 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,550 occasional bowling alleys. 456 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:21,640 Did you ever consider any other acting role? 457 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:22,819 Oh, sure. 458 00:27:22,820 --> 00:27:27,540 But the offers didn't exactly flood in. I'm afraid I was a bit typecast. 459 00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:30,280 The producers didn't take me too seriously as an actor. 460 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,460 Would you take another acting part if it came along? 461 00:27:32,780 --> 00:27:36,860 I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but I can't imagine being anything else 462 00:27:36,860 --> 00:27:37,860 right now. 463 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,480 Julius, I want you to try to explain to the judge why this role is so important 464 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:43,480 to you. 465 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,460 Well, it's the kids, mostly. 466 00:27:47,180 --> 00:27:51,700 I mean, I don't have any family or anything, but wherever I go, I have 467 00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:54,500 kids. By kids, you mean children in general. 468 00:27:55,140 --> 00:27:59,000 It's an amazing thing to be able to entertain children. I mean, I don't have 469 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:05,080 tell them jokes or give them presents or anything. I am the salamander. And 470 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,880 you'd like to continue as the salamander. 471 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:12,000 Believe me, I don't travel all over the country in tights living out of a 472 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,140 suitcase for the 15 ,000 that I pull in. 473 00:28:14,660 --> 00:28:15,660 The ability. 474 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:22,900 The power to make a child smile, to make him happy, is 475 00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:25,400 the most addictive thing that I've ever known. 476 00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:29,960 And what would you do if the judge issued this injunction? 477 00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,040 God, I have no idea. 478 00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:37,200 I'd like to think that we're all here to do some good. 479 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:42,320 I mean, you do good as a lawyer, you as a judge. I think that I do good as the 480 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,810 salamander. Fifteen years from now, you're probably not even going to 481 00:28:45,810 --> 00:28:50,010 this case, but that little boy that I met in the mall last week, the little 482 00:28:50,010 --> 00:28:52,890 in the playground, talk to them 15 years from now. 483 00:28:53,430 --> 00:28:54,450 They'll remember me. 484 00:28:56,270 --> 00:29:01,070 And you know something? I'll probably remember them. 485 00:29:02,530 --> 00:29:03,550 No further questions. 486 00:29:05,350 --> 00:29:06,910 We'll recess till this afternoon. 487 00:29:12,290 --> 00:29:13,610 Rocks! You've got a visitor. 488 00:29:13,830 --> 00:29:14,689 Who is it? 489 00:29:14,690 --> 00:29:16,870 Do you know what he wants? He just said he's a friend of yours. 490 00:29:23,150 --> 00:29:24,150 David. 491 00:29:25,650 --> 00:29:26,710 What are you doing here? 492 00:29:27,170 --> 00:29:28,170 Hi, Rox. 493 00:29:28,470 --> 00:29:31,270 I had business in the building. Thought I'd check in, see how you're doing. 494 00:29:31,490 --> 00:29:33,210 It's really not a great time right now. 495 00:29:33,850 --> 00:29:36,710 Actually, I was a little worried. You never returned any of my phone calls. 496 00:29:37,030 --> 00:29:38,490 Our last date wasn't that bad. 497 00:29:39,030 --> 00:29:40,030 Was it? 498 00:29:40,410 --> 00:29:41,410 It was fine. 499 00:29:41,989 --> 00:29:43,450 So, how about dinner sometime? 500 00:29:44,410 --> 00:29:45,410 That'd be swell. 501 00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:47,390 Tonight? Oh, I can't tonight. 502 00:29:47,890 --> 00:29:51,450 How about tomorrow? Cause I gotta go to Boston over the weekend and who knows, I 503 00:29:51,450 --> 00:29:54,030 could go down in a plane crash and you'd never get to know the real me. 504 00:29:56,950 --> 00:30:00,750 I am not above begging, you know. I just don't want to embarrass you in front of 505 00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:01,750 everybody. 506 00:30:03,390 --> 00:30:04,890 Okay. We're on? 507 00:30:05,770 --> 00:30:06,770 Sure. 508 00:30:06,890 --> 00:30:08,510 So, that's great! 509 00:30:10,330 --> 00:30:11,330 So... 510 00:30:11,820 --> 00:30:13,200 I'll pick you up at 7 .30. 511 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,560 Mr. 512 00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:21,540 Goldfarb, you've tried to do a little more good than just making children 513 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:22,820 haven't you? 514 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,400 I'm not sure I follow. 515 00:30:24,660 --> 00:30:25,479 Let me help you. 516 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,320 You've been picked up by police for questioning in several different cities, 517 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,180 right? I resent that implication. I have never been arrested. 518 00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:35,500 The reason you've been stopped and detained is because you've been seen 519 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:38,860 that costume in areas known to be frequented with criminal activity, 520 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,460 There's no law against that. 521 00:30:41,649 --> 00:30:44,690 Turning your attention to October 12th, 1986. 522 00:30:45,610 --> 00:30:49,230 You tried to stop a liquor store holdup, didn't you? I saw a crime in progress, 523 00:30:49,270 --> 00:30:52,890 and yes, I tried to prevent it. You jumped into the store and started 524 00:30:52,890 --> 00:30:56,010 the holdup man with your tail. He was a criminal. And you were a salamander. 525 00:30:56,390 --> 00:30:57,690 Objection. With a citizen's arrest. 526 00:30:58,550 --> 00:30:59,550 Overruled. Mr. 527 00:30:59,610 --> 00:31:03,850 Goldfarb, don't you think running around in a funny little suit taking on real 528 00:31:03,850 --> 00:31:05,090 criminals is kind of silly? 529 00:31:05,290 --> 00:31:06,990 Are you calling law enforcement silly? 530 00:31:07,310 --> 00:31:08,249 Yes. 531 00:31:08,250 --> 00:31:12,250 When you try to take on a loaded gun with a whip -like tongue? Your Honor. 532 00:31:12,450 --> 00:31:16,670 This ridicule is unscrupulous. I'm ridiculing a pathetic little man who 533 00:31:16,670 --> 00:31:18,090 around in a stupid costume. 534 00:31:18,370 --> 00:31:21,930 Stupid. You prance around in tights, screaming at... How dare you! 535 00:31:22,230 --> 00:31:23,290 Mr. Goldfarb. 536 00:31:24,130 --> 00:31:25,130 Sir. 537 00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:31,050 This suit is the symbol of justice to millions of Americans, bub. You wear it 538 00:31:31,050 --> 00:31:32,050 under your clothes? 539 00:31:32,110 --> 00:31:33,270 I always wear it. Mr. 540 00:31:33,750 --> 00:31:36,360 Goldfarb. I am! the son of... Julius. 541 00:31:36,780 --> 00:31:42,220 Evil rears its face in all walks, my foe, even in the guise of plaintive 542 00:31:42,220 --> 00:31:43,680 attorneys. Am I evil? 543 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:45,640 Counselor, please. 544 00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:52,940 Julius. You seek to defame me? You seek to wreak humiliation on the conqueror of 545 00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:54,460 injustice? Julius. 546 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,900 Mr. Goldfarb, that's quite enough. 547 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:00,480 No, the killer's hell. 548 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:04,700 All right. 549 00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:06,270 Stand back. 550 00:32:06,450 --> 00:32:09,090 Bailiff. I said stand back. 551 00:32:09,870 --> 00:32:11,310 Julius, for God's sake. 552 00:32:11,590 --> 00:32:12,590 There he goes. 553 00:32:13,010 --> 00:32:15,450 Mr. Goldfarb, this court orders you to come down. 554 00:32:16,830 --> 00:32:19,150 I am scaling the walls of justice. 555 00:32:19,550 --> 00:32:22,130 This is justice upon justice. 556 00:32:22,410 --> 00:32:23,810 Come down now. 557 00:32:24,150 --> 00:32:25,290 Who was that madman? 558 00:32:25,510 --> 00:32:26,670 Mr. Goldfarb. Julius. 559 00:32:27,630 --> 00:32:29,790 Mr. Goldfarb, I'll have you arrested. 560 00:32:30,010 --> 00:32:31,010 Arrest the salamander? 561 00:32:31,190 --> 00:32:32,490 You are not a judge. 562 00:32:32,790 --> 00:32:36,670 You are not worthy of the robes you wear. No one... There he is. 563 00:32:37,790 --> 00:32:39,170 Stay clear of the hole! 564 00:32:40,090 --> 00:32:41,710 Get him down. 565 00:32:42,990 --> 00:32:48,470 Not to worry. The salamander is undaunted. The salamander is under 566 00:32:48,770 --> 00:32:52,990 Put him in a holding cell. One amphibian standing alone in the fight against 567 00:32:52,990 --> 00:32:56,490 corruption. Through honesty and justice, virtue shall grow. 568 00:32:57,350 --> 00:32:58,610 Salamander! Salamander! 569 00:33:22,149 --> 00:33:25,810 Because I believe it presents the most stable alternative, I am placing custody 570 00:33:25,810 --> 00:33:27,150 of the children with the plaintiff mother. 571 00:33:27,410 --> 00:33:32,130 I understand this entails relocation to Chicago, and while I'm reluctant to see 572 00:33:32,130 --> 00:33:35,610 that much distance placed between a father and his children, there's no 573 00:33:35,610 --> 00:33:38,250 in my mind that this is the least disruptive course to follow. 574 00:33:38,710 --> 00:33:42,190 Needless to say, every effort is to be made to permit Mr. Simonetti to have a 575 00:33:42,190 --> 00:33:43,490 presence in his children's lives. 576 00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:46,970 You know what you're doing. Sit down, Mr. Simonetti. You have any idea what 577 00:33:46,970 --> 00:33:49,510 you're doing? I'm ordering you to sit down. You think you control this room? 578 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,520 Huh? Huh? You think this bailiff gives you that? This is my court, sir, and I 579 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,540 make the rules here. Return to your seat, sir. I spent 20 years on the 580 00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:57,379 You ready? 581 00:33:57,380 --> 00:33:58,500 Dominic, what are you doing? 582 00:33:58,900 --> 00:33:59,900 You ready, my man? 583 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,620 Now, listen and listen good. Take your pizza, put it on the table, and slide it 584 00:34:05,620 --> 00:34:06,620 to me. 585 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:09,960 Do it. 586 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:12,960 Come on. 587 00:34:16,100 --> 00:34:18,000 Now, take your stick and put it through those door handles. 588 00:34:20,429 --> 00:34:21,550 You don't get any ideas. 589 00:34:24,909 --> 00:34:28,310 In the future, officer, the first rule of law enforcement is never give up your 590 00:34:28,310 --> 00:34:29,310 peace for anyone. 591 00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:32,989 Paddle, you hit the alarm yet? 592 00:34:33,690 --> 00:34:36,030 That don't make a difference. Just move your desk near the door. 593 00:34:37,770 --> 00:34:38,770 Help her. 594 00:34:38,850 --> 00:34:39,949 Come on, you, hurry it up. 595 00:34:41,489 --> 00:34:42,489 Move it. 596 00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:46,310 And unplug the phone. 597 00:34:46,889 --> 00:34:48,170 I don't want to talk to any cops. 598 00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:51,620 Come on, let's you and me approach the bench, okay? 599 00:34:52,460 --> 00:34:58,360 You scared yet? Is this enough like a back -out route? 600 00:34:58,740 --> 00:35:00,660 Jim and Eddie, why are you doing this? 601 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:08,060 Why? Well, I tell you, Judge, the one human side I had left was being a 602 00:35:10,540 --> 00:35:11,760 And you just took that away. 603 00:35:13,420 --> 00:35:16,800 It's not exactly a big surprise, the way things were going. 604 00:35:17,710 --> 00:35:22,190 Which is why, in addition to this 9mm Beretta with a 14 -shot clip, I brought 605 00:35:22,190 --> 00:35:23,190 this. 606 00:35:24,810 --> 00:35:25,810 See? 607 00:35:26,150 --> 00:35:28,410 12 -gauge cut -down loaded with 00 buckshot. 608 00:35:32,950 --> 00:35:33,950 Now tell me, Judge. 609 00:35:35,490 --> 00:35:37,690 Who makes the rules now? 610 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:54,100 I'm sorry, with a salary of $37 ,000, 50 cents on the dollar is not going to 611 00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:57,120 make it here. Come on, anything more than that's oppressive. Look at her 612 00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:01,240 expenses. I see nothing oppressive about trimming her $200 a month clothing 613 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:02,240 allowance. 614 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:06,820 See, I work for a law firm, and I have to look right for the clients. Well, 615 00:36:06,860 --> 00:36:09,620 you're going to have to look right for a little less, $50 a month. 616 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,100 This health club membership is disallowed, too. 617 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:14,780 You can jog in the park. 618 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,660 Monthly transportation seems high. 619 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:22,600 Well, the bus costs $1 .20 each way. Sometimes I work late and I have to take 620 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,960 cabs. $90 is still excessive. 621 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:30,100 A monthly bus pass is $44, and when you work late, the firm should pay the cab 622 00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:31,340 fare. I'll give you $55. 623 00:36:31,980 --> 00:36:33,220 Entertainment expenses. 624 00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:34,900 No way. 625 00:36:35,180 --> 00:36:36,180 None of it. 626 00:36:36,460 --> 00:36:40,440 Ms. Melman, you are going into bankruptcy here, and that means... 627 00:36:40,650 --> 00:36:45,130 The people you owe are not going to be paid. Your creditors are going to be 628 00:36:45,130 --> 00:36:49,550 upset, justifiably so, and I am not going to compound their anger by giving 629 00:36:49,550 --> 00:36:50,570 movie money. 630 00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:52,630 I'll take your credit cards. 631 00:36:54,930 --> 00:36:55,930 Clerk. 632 00:37:00,590 --> 00:37:05,610 I'll make my recommendation after further review of your bank statements, 633 00:37:05,610 --> 00:37:09,310 want a salary verification from her place of employment as well. 634 00:37:22,819 --> 00:37:23,819 Doing okay? 635 00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:27,740 They confiscated my suction cups. 636 00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:30,860 Let's not worry about your suction cups right now. 637 00:37:32,420 --> 00:37:33,420 Everything's going to be all right. 638 00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:36,520 I mean, people are going to hear about this and they're all going to come out 639 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:37,520 and support me. 640 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,180 I'm going to become famous again. 641 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:43,000 Julius. Listen, I want you to contact my agent because I bet the producers are 642 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,620 trying to get in touch with him because I bet they want me for the remake now. 643 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,040 I mean, now that they know that I am the real thing. 644 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,180 Julius, nobody's coming out to support you. 645 00:37:52,570 --> 00:37:53,870 Nobody's calling your agent. 646 00:37:54,570 --> 00:37:57,910 The producers just want you to go away, and it's a cinch they'll get the court 647 00:37:57,910 --> 00:37:58,910 to back them up. 648 00:37:59,090 --> 00:38:00,090 Listen to me. 649 00:38:00,590 --> 00:38:02,570 The hospital wants to commit you. 650 00:38:02,890 --> 00:38:06,470 I'm telling you, as your lawyer, if they think you can't distinguish between 651 00:38:06,470 --> 00:38:09,910 your real self and that crime -fighting creature, they're going to get you 652 00:38:09,910 --> 00:38:11,930 locked up. Do you understand me, Julius? 653 00:38:15,810 --> 00:38:19,610 Please, Julius, give up the salamander. It doesn't exist. 654 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,480 You have to forget about it now for your own sake. You have to now. 655 00:38:27,020 --> 00:38:28,140 Then I have nothing. 656 00:38:29,580 --> 00:38:30,780 I have nothing forever. 657 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:33,940 What am I going to do? 658 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:37,860 This is the only thing that I know. 659 00:38:39,900 --> 00:38:41,700 This is the only thing that I am. 660 00:38:50,990 --> 00:38:53,910 21 years of kicking ass and taking names and I'm still on patrol. 661 00:38:55,030 --> 00:38:58,690 21 years of wading into the projects in the streets to stare down and whack out 662 00:38:58,690 --> 00:39:00,870 degenerates who thought they were King Kong. 663 00:39:01,770 --> 00:39:05,850 21 years of bringing him in only to see geniuses like you turn him loose again. 664 00:39:07,010 --> 00:39:08,010 Dom. 665 00:39:08,670 --> 00:39:09,670 What, honey? 666 00:39:09,810 --> 00:39:10,810 What is it? 667 00:39:11,290 --> 00:39:12,830 I want you to stop this. 668 00:39:13,170 --> 00:39:14,009 Oh, do you? 669 00:39:14,010 --> 00:39:15,010 Yes, I do. 670 00:39:16,330 --> 00:39:17,330 Tell me. 671 00:39:18,070 --> 00:39:19,770 You and your lawyer been playing around? 672 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,620 Huh? Oh, Dominic. Oh, no, I know you've been going out. I just want to know if 673 00:39:23,620 --> 00:39:24,399 it's been with him. 674 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,160 I mean, you spent all this time together. He understood what you were 675 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,160 through. 676 00:39:28,220 --> 00:39:30,420 You caught him staring at you. You stared back. Huh? 677 00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:33,820 Bingo. What a thrill to be single again instead of married to some burnt -out 678 00:39:33,820 --> 00:39:34,698 wreck of a cop. 679 00:39:34,700 --> 00:39:36,140 You're crazy, Dominic. 680 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,820 Yeah. All cops are crazy. 681 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,040 It comes from having eyes in the back of their heads. 682 00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:46,220 Cops, cops, cops! God, I am sick to death of hearing about cops! 683 00:39:47,100 --> 00:39:51,240 Just what is it that makes you think you're so special? Only another cop 684 00:39:51,240 --> 00:39:52,780 the answer to that, baby. Another cop? 685 00:39:53,340 --> 00:39:54,980 You hate other cops. 686 00:39:55,580 --> 00:39:59,780 From the rookies you can't depend on to the bureaucrats who plot against you 687 00:39:59,780 --> 00:40:01,380 behind your back. To the wife who stabs me in the back. 688 00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:06,000 Dominic, I begged you to get help. From where? A department shrink? You're the 689 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,620 one who's supposed to help me. I tried. You walked away. 690 00:40:09,060 --> 00:40:10,660 You took my kids and you walked. 691 00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:14,680 You're not blameless in all this. I never walked away. You made my life 692 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:15,680 unbearable. 693 00:40:16,210 --> 00:40:17,210 Unbearable. 694 00:40:18,270 --> 00:40:20,350 You ever hear of loyalty, Vicki? 695 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:26,090 Blind, unflinching loyalty of duty and children and forever. 696 00:40:27,210 --> 00:40:28,210 I'm sorry. 697 00:40:28,410 --> 00:40:30,410 I'm really sorry, Dominic. 698 00:40:30,990 --> 00:40:34,290 I just couldn't stay married to you anymore. 699 00:40:34,650 --> 00:40:38,690 Maybe that makes me a lousy person, but I just couldn't. Put your head back 700 00:40:38,690 --> 00:40:39,690 down. 701 00:40:40,310 --> 00:40:44,450 Mr. Simonetti, don't make it any harder on your kids than it already is. 702 00:40:44,750 --> 00:40:45,629 Hey, Judge. 703 00:40:45,630 --> 00:40:46,990 I know the speech. I've given it myself. 704 00:40:48,030 --> 00:40:51,330 The trouble is, it only works if the person you're giving it to isn't ready 705 00:40:51,330 --> 00:40:53,530 die. I don't believe you're ready to die. 706 00:40:53,790 --> 00:40:54,790 You don't? 707 00:40:55,770 --> 00:40:59,770 You carry a badge and a gun, and the only people who take you seriously are 708 00:40:59,770 --> 00:41:00,509 and criminals. 709 00:41:00,510 --> 00:41:02,650 I take you seriously, Mr. Sears. You take this seriously. 710 00:41:03,810 --> 00:41:04,810 This. 711 00:41:05,090 --> 00:41:09,310 Tell me, Your Honor, what do I have to do for you to start taking me seriously? 712 00:41:10,610 --> 00:41:14,770 What do I have to do for you to understand how much I love my kids? 713 00:41:22,860 --> 00:41:24,180 Prove that you love them. 714 00:41:24,660 --> 00:41:25,740 Put the gun down. 715 00:41:26,460 --> 00:41:28,880 Don't ruin their lives by pulling that trigger. 716 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,660 I was always a good father to them, wasn't I, Vicki? 717 00:41:33,940 --> 00:41:35,260 Oh, yes, Dominic. 718 00:41:36,140 --> 00:41:37,880 They'll always know how much I love them, huh? 719 00:41:38,180 --> 00:41:40,620 You think that they're done needing to know that? 720 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,460 You're their father. 721 00:41:43,100 --> 00:41:45,120 You'll never stop being their father. 722 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,380 We brought three children into this world. 723 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,400 Please. Please don't abandon them, Dominic. 724 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,200 Please don't abandon them. 725 00:41:59,860 --> 00:42:00,300 Here 726 00:42:00,300 --> 00:42:09,000 you 727 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,320 are, Judge. I'm your court officer. 728 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,040 Take my firearms and place me under arrest. 729 00:42:24,230 --> 00:42:24,948 Here they come. 730 00:42:24,950 --> 00:42:27,590 Okay, get the cameras ready. Oh, sir. Excuse me. Sir. 731 00:42:27,950 --> 00:42:30,110 Marty. Excuse me, sir. Ma 'am. You all right? 732 00:42:30,430 --> 00:42:31,328 I'm okay. 733 00:42:31,330 --> 00:42:32,330 Everyone's all right. 734 00:42:32,730 --> 00:42:33,609 How's Monica? 735 00:42:33,610 --> 00:42:34,610 She's fine. 736 00:42:35,130 --> 00:42:36,130 Let's get out of here. 737 00:42:36,490 --> 00:42:37,950 Mr. Becker, can you give me a minute? 738 00:42:38,690 --> 00:42:39,690 Okay. 739 00:42:40,570 --> 00:42:41,570 Let's go. 740 00:42:42,870 --> 00:42:47,730 With me is matrimonial attorney Arnold Becker, who was one of those held 741 00:42:47,730 --> 00:42:50,010 hostage. What was it like in there, Mr. Becker? 742 00:42:50,250 --> 00:42:54,130 It was kind of frightening, but I think everybody handled it very well. What was 743 00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:55,350 your impression of the gunman? 744 00:42:55,590 --> 00:42:59,410 I'm just grateful that he surrendered without hurting anyone. I can't really 745 00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:02,050 speak about him beyond that. Thank you, Mr. Becker. 746 00:43:02,750 --> 00:43:06,910 This is the second courtroom explosion in as many days. You'll remember that 747 00:43:06,910 --> 00:43:11,630 just yesterday, 43 -year -old Julius Goldfarb literally climbed the walls of 748 00:43:11,630 --> 00:43:16,030 justice in his salamander costume, complete with lethal tail and tongue. 749 00:43:16,310 --> 00:43:20,550 The happy reptile is currently taking the day off from crime fighting while he 750 00:43:20,550 --> 00:43:22,190 undergoes a psychiatric evaluation. 751 00:43:22,710 --> 00:43:26,830 That's it from here. From Superior Court in downtown Los Angeles, I'm Janet 752 00:43:26,830 --> 00:43:27,830 Pierce. 753 00:43:34,170 --> 00:43:36,670 Benny, can I talk to you for a minute? 754 00:43:38,590 --> 00:43:40,350 You're sad about Julius, aren't you? 755 00:43:41,130 --> 00:43:42,210 Is he gone forever? 756 00:43:42,610 --> 00:43:44,870 No, just for a little while until he's better. 757 00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,690 It isn't good to believe in a salamander, is it? 758 00:43:49,010 --> 00:43:50,270 Because he isn't really real. 759 00:43:50,510 --> 00:43:53,510 Well, the salamander is make -believe. 760 00:43:53,870 --> 00:43:58,990 But the things that he reminds us of, to be honest, to care for other people, to 761 00:43:58,990 --> 00:44:01,110 be kind, those things are very real. 762 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,820 And so is the happiness that Julius brings to people when he acts as a 763 00:44:04,820 --> 00:44:05,820 salamander. 764 00:44:06,540 --> 00:44:08,260 You can understand that, can't you, Benny? 765 00:44:10,100 --> 00:44:11,100 I think. 766 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:12,920 It's going to be okay, Benny. 767 00:44:16,140 --> 00:44:19,640 Through honesty and justice, virtue shall grow. 768 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,100 Salamander, salamander, onward ho. 769 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,520 So I told the broker, who does he think he's kidding? 770 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,700 I know the condo market here in Bunker Hill. I mean, it's not like we're 771 00:44:51,700 --> 00:44:53,880 about some great investment property here. 772 00:44:54,380 --> 00:44:58,040 So anyway, we're going to get back to the cellar, and if he comes down, great. 773 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,420 And if not, I'll just keep schlepping in from Sherman Oaks. 774 00:45:02,940 --> 00:45:05,280 So, what do you think? 775 00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:07,100 About what? 776 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,540 Come on, Rox, if you're going to make me hold up both ends of the conversation, 777 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:12,720 at least have the courtesy to feign a little interest. 778 00:45:13,550 --> 00:45:14,750 But I'm not interested. 779 00:45:16,930 --> 00:45:19,910 You've been talking about yourself ever since we sat down, all night. 780 00:45:20,450 --> 00:45:22,910 Your business deals, your money. 781 00:45:23,630 --> 00:45:27,710 I don't give a damn how much money you make or what stuff you want to buy. 782 00:45:28,870 --> 00:45:30,290 What's wrong with you, Roxanne? 783 00:45:32,490 --> 00:45:35,890 I spent the whole afternoon in bankruptcy court, David. 784 00:45:38,030 --> 00:45:42,450 I owe the government $14 ,000, and I'm completely broke. 785 00:45:43,180 --> 00:45:47,940 I had a judge put me on an allowance, talking to me like I'm nine years old, 786 00:45:47,940 --> 00:45:51,900 I've had to sit here looking at a bottle of champagne that would take me three 787 00:45:51,900 --> 00:45:54,880 weeks to pay for while you wax on about condos. 788 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,540 Why didn't you call me? I could have loaned you the money. 789 00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,900 What good would that do? 790 00:46:01,260 --> 00:46:02,660 Trading one debt for another. 791 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,300 Look, it's not the end of the world, Rox. 792 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,360 It's got to be pretty damn close. 793 00:46:09,260 --> 00:46:10,600 I'm 38 years old. 794 00:46:11,100 --> 00:46:12,720 and I've got absolutely nothing. 795 00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,160 No family, no money. 796 00:46:15,860 --> 00:46:19,280 Every nickel I make for the next three years will be doled to me by a court. 797 00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:21,180 I don't have a car. 798 00:46:21,580 --> 00:46:22,920 I can't take a vacation. 799 00:46:23,700 --> 00:46:26,000 I've got no control over my own life. 800 00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:27,300 I'm sorry. 801 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,020 I'm sorry. I've got to go. 802 00:46:40,470 --> 00:46:41,690 Hungry? Not really. 803 00:46:44,090 --> 00:46:45,230 Did you cancel the reservations? 804 00:46:48,470 --> 00:46:50,870 You know, I really thought that he was going to do it. It looked like he was 805 00:46:50,870 --> 00:46:51,870 going to kill you. 806 00:46:52,710 --> 00:46:53,850 Consider my view of it. 807 00:46:54,670 --> 00:46:56,850 Made me think about what I'd be losing. 808 00:46:57,810 --> 00:47:01,210 I mean, when the lights go out, that's it. And here I am, this 37 -year -old 809 00:47:01,210 --> 00:47:03,650 who scrambled his whole life to avoid getting tied down. 810 00:47:07,630 --> 00:47:09,150 You were just having too much fun. 811 00:47:10,940 --> 00:47:14,820 Maybe that's what it looked like, but really I was just thinking that there 812 00:47:14,820 --> 00:47:17,740 might be something better over the next hill, that if I commit to this, what 813 00:47:17,740 --> 00:47:18,880 happens when that comes along? 814 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,920 But what really happens is everything passes you by and you look desperately 815 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,860 trying to pretend like fun is what you're having. 816 00:47:26,260 --> 00:47:27,400 We're both here, baby. 817 00:47:27,780 --> 00:47:29,640 He didn't touch a hair on our heads. 818 00:47:34,340 --> 00:47:35,780 Don't let me wreck things, Monica. 819 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:38,300 I'm afraid that's what I'll do. 820 00:47:39,509 --> 00:47:41,290 There's nothing that says you have to. 821 00:47:42,850 --> 00:47:46,230 When I looked at you today with that gun pointed at your head, I said to myself, 822 00:47:46,390 --> 00:47:47,930 God, please don't take her from me. 823 00:47:49,050 --> 00:47:50,890 Let me grow old near the woman I love.